You think this is an easy question to answer? Wrong. Relationshits come in several forms and disguises and you only know that you´re trapped in one when it is too late.
If you answer "it happens" to at least 5 out of the following 10 questions, you may be knee-deep in shit already (excuse the metaphor):
1) Do you catch yourself dreaming about old boyfriends when you`re not with him?
2) Do you make excuses for him to your friends?
3) Do you avoid going out and seing friends or family because you know it will create a problem between the two of you?
4) Do you keep thinking that things will improve between the two of you?
5) Do you argue, break up and then fall in love again more than once a year?
6) Has he borrowed money from you and not paid it back yet?
7) Does he say things that your mother told you no women should hear, and then apologize for it next time you see eachother?
8) Do you compare your relationshiP to those of other couples you know?
9) Have you lost contact with good friends after you started dating him?
10) Do you still remember what you wanted to do when you were 20 years old?
10 - you mean "have you forgotten..." ?
ResponderExcluirYes of course
ResponderExcluirDear Miss Happiness,
ResponderExcluirI answered you quiz and, according to it, I am in a relationshit.
But I have to ask you a few things, afterall, I believe there are no rules in love.
Have we (the "normal" part of the couple) never any guilt? Does this happen only because we end up falling in love with this often paranoic person? Or, maybe if we acted different, could it be a healthy relationship?
And also.. don't you believe it can change? never? we hear bad stories, but also a few (only a few, but there are) with a happy endning. What if your relatioshit is moving towards a healthy one? How to know the difference?
I hope you can help me with these questions, because my head is in torment right now.
Yours sincerely,
Divided heart.
Dear Pearl,
ResponderExcluirA relationship is made up of two (at least in this case, I suppose, not as the case of Lady Di who said there were three people in their marriage..) anyway - yes, of course you are to blame in part for this relationshit. You go along with it, although you know (and everybody else tells you - listen to your friends!!) that this is no good for you. How to know whether this will change? Honey - call me an old cynic but I don´t think this things change. What happens is that one of you will eventually give and even in normal, more healthy relationships people tend to confuse giving with erasing their own self and wishes and sometimes even personality. So beware. Take some time of this relationshit and see how you feel. And I don´t mean a week or two because of course you will miss him. Stay away for a couple of months and observe how you react, how you feel about yourself and what you are doing. You may surprise yourself.